Daddy's Last Day on Adoptive Parent Leave

It has been an overwhelmingly emotional experience. Two years ago Amy and I finally gave up on the doctors and decided to adopt. It was a very exciting decision for me. I always felt it was my responsibility to offer back for all of the gifts I received in my life ( a wonderful wife, an amazing family, and the best of friends.) But I always thought I would have a baby with my own eyes and the opportunity to adopt would never present itself. Yes, right now is a time of reflection my month off of work is ending. I am going to have to leave my daughter and wife every morning. It would be an easy decision to never work again.

The process was long and emotionally trying with all of the delays. Throughout this process we always wondered is this really going to happen. It seems like the story of our lives always worrying about something on the horizon; something that has not yet arrived. When if we just enjoy the sunset each day we might be a little happier. Because in the end time passes.

When we first received Caelyn I was up all night long. I was worried she was breathing too loud; she might be having difficulty breathing. Then as the night progressed I couldn't hear her at all so of course I was worried she wasn't breathing. In the end the morning came and she was still just as happy to have her diaper changed. The worry of her sleeping each night and staying up all night is gone because time passes.

Each day in China we had new experiences and each day new fears were resolved. I was afraid that we would not find food to eat and that I might be eating Starbucks and McDonald's everyday. However, the food was wonderful and only went to each of those restaurants once. On Caelyn's first flight I expected her to scream bloody murder for an hour straight (the extent of the flight back to Guangzhou). She was in her carrier and as soon as the wheels lifted up she was not awake again until they touched down. Of course the fear of jet lag; I prepared an Excel spreadsheet to give a five day plan to adjust her sleep schedule. The first day she went to bed at 4am and woke up at 10am. The next day she went to bed at 9pm and slept through the night only waking up once to be fed. All of the fears I started with are gone because time passes.

Now I wake up every morning to my beautiful wife and daughter. I started this process thinking that I was giving back but in the end I am just receiving another gift. We so far have struggled through the first night, the fever, the first poop poop, jet lag, vaccinations, drawling blood, the stomach flu, a cold for each member of the family; you get the point... And in the end we still have one more thing to struggle through my being away from my family each day. But of course time just continues on and each day I know to look for the one thing that will keep me smiling. Whether it is dancing with Caelyn or holding my wife I believe I will find the strength to go to work each day. Each day I will hope that Caelyn will understand that if I had a choice I would rather be with her. I hope my wife knows this as well.