The Balancing Act

I recently went on my first business trip away from my ladies. It was only one short night away but while I waiting at the gate I just couldn't figure out what I was doing there. I have already missed several milestones and I was overcome by sadness. I even had the thought of just leaving the terminal and heading back to my car and going home. Instead I put on my headset fought back the tears and got on the plane.

Since I have been at work I have missed watching her crawling for the first time, I missed watching her learn to pull herself up without assistance, and I missed her learning not only to drink from a sippy cup but understanding her mother's request to drink from the sippy cup. What else would I miss while I was gone?

Every night I am sitting in the office at 7pm anxiously trying to wrap up what I am doing so I could go home. I used to always stay with my team until we achieved our nights goals. Now in the middle of busy season my team is sacrificing so much of their time while I am running out to try to get to my family. Some might think a 10 hour is a long day but in my job that used to be a light day. I just feel that I should be doing more to help them get to see their families too. But if I give more I am taking more from others.

Of course the struggle is balance. Though nowadays the idea of balance just seems like a fairy tale. The real goal seems to be tolerance. You just hang in there and believe in your vision, in your dream. I might have missed some firsts but I still got to see the seconds. I might feel guilty for leaving before my team but while I am there I do everything possible to make their jobs easier.In the end we do our best and sometimes that is all we can do.

I got back from my long one night trip away and Caelyn crawled across the floor with a big smile; maybe she just thought I had food. But either way my heart leapt and I learned being away means coming home is always special.

I might have a lot of struggles but I wouldn't want it any other way; my wife and daughter are worth it.